Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
