yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
