You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
