Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
