i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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