This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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