You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
