We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My vagina just clenched in fear
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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