Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
