my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
