Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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