brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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