Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
