so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
