i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
