HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
