I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
