He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
