Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
