im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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