You really coming over, don't trick.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
