We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
