margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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