did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Less talking, more tequila
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
