I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
