Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
