we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
