i don't plan on having that self control this summer
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
