Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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