Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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