(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
