So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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