she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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