At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
