just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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