i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
