I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
