his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
