mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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