How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
