I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
