So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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