hotel room ftw
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
