I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
