I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
