I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
