I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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