so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
