at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Randomize
