is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
